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InsideMinds
Providing Quality Coaching. Counselling. Training
Helping Young Adults and Teens
Through the Tough Times
Life can be tough no matter what your age but for young people it can seem especially tough and loaded with challenges they really aren't equipped to handle. By the very fact they're young means they've little life experience so when it comes to dealing with issues and solving problems, they can find themselves feeling overwhelmed and distressed, demoralised and unmotivated or more seriously depressed and anxious.
Coming head to head with academic demands, forging new relationships relationships, trying to fit in, pressures to make life-shaping decisions and ever-changing hormones and emotions can result in their mind and body becoming consumed by a myriad of painful feelings and destructive thoughts.
Getting help as soon as you notice symptoms of mental ill health is vital in protecting them from more severe long term problems. Counselling Can Offer Support And Guidance To You And Your Young Person
In the face of such adversity, it's understandable as to why so many young people find themselves feeling lost, self-conscious, suffering low self-esteem, challenging authority and engaging in risky behaviours, to name but a few possible outcomes; they're struggling to deal with their inner and outer world but all to quickly, serious mental health issues can emerge.
Naturally, as a parent, this will be an extremely worrying time and like so many other parents, you may feel at a loss to know how to support your young adult or unsure of where to turn to for help. You're not alone; many other parents share your experience, myself included. I can honestly tell you that I understand. I am a mum of two young adults and like you I witness first hand their struggles. I live their pain, pressures, uncertainty, disappointments and enormously scary times right along side them and it really hurts.
Does your young adult ....
Greet you with grunts?
Retreat to their rooms and only come out for food, school or parties?
Act as if you've asked them to clean the whole house (including toilets) when you
only mentioned their bedroom?
Demonstrate an unhealthy attachment to their phone (cradle it in a vice like grip
and refuse to let go)
On weekends and in school holidays operate only between late afternoon and dawn?
All other time is earmarked for sleep.
Demonstrate very little ability to speak words of more than one syllable? Fine! What! No! Why!
This is by no means a definitive repertoire of behaviour but it does highlight some of the most common situations you, as a parent, might find yourself having to deal with. Be assured they are normal and there are very effective solutions available to help you manage such challenges.
It's also normal for a young person to rebel a little, to want independence from mum and dad and to place a lot of attention on friends and self-image. Most young people will also swing between low and high moods, feel scared and uncertain at times and struggle with confidence and self esteem. They will test the boundaries and challenge your values and authority; they will drive you crazy, cause you tears and laughter, all in the name of what is a very healthy developmental process - it's all to be expected and even hoped for because it signals that your young person is heading towards independence and maturity.
Without doubt, it can be difficult to distinguish between normal teenage angst and more serious concerns. However, when behaviours become destructive and you notice your young adult severely struggling or experiencing issues that are impacting their ability to function well within particular areas of life such as school, home, peer relationships, there is likely cause for concern. Getting help now can be crucial to their long-term well-being.
Mental Health 'Red Flags' - Some concerning behaviours.
Please note: Many of these come with the territory of teenage life so it’s important to remember that no one 'red flag' means there's a problem. Speak to a mental professional and visit your doctor for advice.
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Decrease in enjoyment from favourite pastimes and time spent with friends and family
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Decline in academic performance/ strong resistance to attending school or absenteeism
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Problems with memory, attention or concentration
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Big changes in energy levels, eating or sleeping patterns
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Physical symptoms (stomach aches, headaches, backaches)
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Feelings of hopelessness, sadness, anxiety, crying often/loss of self-esteem
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Frequent aggression, verbal or behavioural
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Excessive neglect of personal appearance or hygiene
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Dangerous or illegal thrill-seeking behaviour/substance abuse
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Paranoia and excessive secrecy
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Self-mutilation, or mention of hurting himself or herself
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Obsessive body-image concerns
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Excessive isolation/ abandonment of friends and social groups
If you think your young adult might benefit from counselling and you'd like more details as to how I may be able to help, please read on.
Giving Your Young Adult the Opportunity To Thrive
"I believe that young people thrive then they understand themselves and then apply that understanding to the world around them"
I have helped many parents, teenagers and young adults work through
some really tough times. I will work with your young person to help them
recognise the physical, psychological and emotional stressors. I will teach
your young person techniques for enhancing self-awareness, thinking,
emotions and problem solving. Together we will work to create new
behavioural and coping skills which will support them during challenging
times.
Your young person will learn an invaluable array of life skills which they can call on for support immediately and way into their future.
InsideMinds
Helping Young People Develop Healthy
Thinking, Emotional and Behavioural Skills
Counselling Can Offer Support And Guidance To You And Your Young Person
You may wonder how you can help your teen. It might be that you've considered the services of a counsellor but really don't feel confident in identifying a professional who is experienced and qualified to work with young people. It can be tricky to find someone to put your trust in, after all, you would be handing the psychological and emotional welfare of your teen into the care of a stranger and that's a tough ask! Please take a moment to read more about my background and experience in working with young people and if you have further questions or are unsure of how to move forwards, please don't hesitate to contact me.
" If you are invested and committed to helping your young person, counselling can be extremely effective.
Dealing with issues now can help stop problems from getting worse and prevent new ones from developing."
Counselling will help your young person to identify the root cause of their struggles and address difficulties in ways that are
easy to make sense of. Counselling will also help your young person to set and meet realistic goals, make better decisions and gain an understanding of who they are and who they want to be. They can also develop a better awareness about how their actions affect others, learn more effective ways to communicate, and deepen their ability for self-reflection and self-awareness. These leanings will equip your young person with life long skills and strategies enabling them to continue building resilience and coping with life challenges in a much more constructive way.
Questions and Concerns
Counselling Can Take a Lot of Time and it Isn’t Cheap. I’m Not Sure it’s Worthwhile
Counselling is an investment in the well-being of your young adult. By making that investment, you are not only creating the opportunity for them to feel and function better, but also help alleviate conflicts within family relationships which means the promotion of greater unity and harmony within your home.
Investing in your young adult now can create the opportunity for them to work through difficult feelings and learn behavioural modification and stress reduction techniques, which can provide a great sense of relief. When they feel and functions better, the ripple affects can benefit everyone involved!
They'll Refuse to go to Counselling
It can be tough to convince your young person to give counselling a go - they may think it's a waste of time or that they'll be 'labelled'. Talk to your them and explain that counselling is a safe, non-judgemental space for open, honest communication. I'm here to listen and to help and I don't 'label'!
Finding the right counsellor is essential for a successful outcome and your teen should be an integral part of that process. It’s important to find a counsellor who is a good fit for their personality. An initial meeting may soften your teen’s resistance to counselling and help them realise that the counsellor is not a threat , rather an ally. You are very welcome to come and meet me for an initial chat, at no cost to yourself.
How Much Time and What Kind of a Commitment will Therapy Take?
There is no cut and clear answer because everyone is different and change takes time. Progress also depends on how much effort goes into helping your young person work through issues outside of counselling. In most cases, the more committed everyone is to the helping process, the more effective the outcome will be. The goal is to help your young person feel and function better on a regular basis and acquire tools, strategies and learning which they can draw from after the counselling is complete.
"If you or your young person is feeling overwhelmed and worried, it may be time to ask for help. I understand the issues faced by today’s young people in school, amongst friends, and in their own hearts, minds and bodies. Many years of working with young people has shown me that they are well equipped to develop and master new ways of thinking,feeling and behaving.
Give them the opportunity to untangle themselves from the difficulties they face and support them in learning how to address life's challenges with confidence, hope and openness."